Pub Odyssey 61

Thursday 8 March:  THE TAVERN, WELWYN VILLAGE (Malcolm Allen, Chris Haden, Mike Horsman, Elvis Pile, Rupert Stanley, Andrew Swift, John Westwood)

COMMENT:  The Tavern must win the prize for the most succinctly descriptive pub title- no heraldic fripperies, no recognition of local bigwigs, only a one-word statement of the building's function.  One of these days I may go into a pub called "The Pub" or "The Boozer", until then the Tavern is the winner in the "no frills pub name" stakes.

Inside there were also no frills except for an evil-looking macaw in a cage.  I must be fair, this is quite a frill, even the best appointed pubs seem not normally to go in for macaws as fashion accessories.   Be that as it may, the beer and food were fine (though no fish and chips for Elvis) and not expensive.  It was made even cheaper by the silver tongued persuasiveness of some Odyssians who got Andrew to see that, having just become a grandfather, he should buy them lunch (or at least a drink). We then had to restrain him from buying the whole meal!  Elvis comes up next (grandchild expected shortly).  Big attendance needed that day!

To my surprise the Tavern turned out to be another railway pub (the third in a row on the Odyssey, after the Steamer and the Station).  It was the Railway Tavern in 1847 when the premises were bought by a Hitchin brewer.  It seems in the nineteenth century the kneejerk reaction to any social, political or military event was to open a pub.  In midweek I was walking the Thames Path with Anne and we got to Wallingford, Oxfordshire.  In the nineteenth century this was a small place of 2,000 people  That isn't much bigger than Tewin plus Tewin Wood today.  At that time Wallingford had 50 pubs!

Pub Odyssey 60

Tuesday 28 February:  The STATION, KNEBWORTH (Mike Horsman, Elvis Pile, Steve Stott, Andrew Swift, John Westwood)

COMMENT:  The Station provided a rare opporrtunity for reflection on the human condition, or at least its toilet did.  I'll come back to that in a minute, but first some basic history.

The Station Hotel was built in 1883 (actually opening before Knebworth railway station, which happened in 1884).  The station's arrival wholly changed the position of Knebworth, previously centred on Knebworth House and the parish church; a community called "New Knebworth" grew up around the station which became so dominant that in the end the "New" was dropped, it became "Knebworth" pure and simple, and the original settlement near the big house and the church became "Old Knebworth".  The Station Hotel, now simply the Station, is an indicator of that change and the latest of several pubs on the Odyssey which are distinctively "railway pubs".  This one had decent pub food and drink, very competitively priced.

Now to the  toilet.  It was John Westwood who first went in and encountered The Machine.  It offered three options for the human condition (or at least the male condition):

3 condoms and ID lube
1 x natural
1 x dots and ribs
1 x Ultra thin


or

"Stimulatring"
Provides the ultimate sexual buzz for him and her.  Battery length of up to 40 minutes. Waterproof.

or
 
"Blue Zeus"
Enhance and Maintain Sexual Vigour.  Vitalility and Performance Herbal Supplement.

The machine's owners, Performance Marketing Ltd (yes, that's really their name) further stated
 "If you need assistance or would like to report a fault with the machine call 0870-8503528" 

My feeling was that if after the three options you still needed assistance it would take more than a phone call to help you.