Pub Odyssey 60

Tuesday 28 February:  The STATION, KNEBWORTH (Mike Horsman, Elvis Pile, Steve Stott, Andrew Swift, John Westwood)

COMMENT:  The Station provided a rare opporrtunity for reflection on the human condition, or at least its toilet did.  I'll come back to that in a minute, but first some basic history.

The Station Hotel was built in 1883 (actually opening before Knebworth railway station, which happened in 1884).  The station's arrival wholly changed the position of Knebworth, previously centred on Knebworth House and the parish church; a community called "New Knebworth" grew up around the station which became so dominant that in the end the "New" was dropped, it became "Knebworth" pure and simple, and the original settlement near the big house and the church became "Old Knebworth".  The Station Hotel, now simply the Station, is an indicator of that change and the latest of several pubs on the Odyssey which are distinctively "railway pubs".  This one had decent pub food and drink, very competitively priced.

Now to the  toilet.  It was John Westwood who first went in and encountered The Machine.  It offered three options for the human condition (or at least the male condition):

3 condoms and ID lube
1 x natural
1 x dots and ribs
1 x Ultra thin


or

"Stimulatring"
Provides the ultimate sexual buzz for him and her.  Battery length of up to 40 minutes. Waterproof.

or
 
"Blue Zeus"
Enhance and Maintain Sexual Vigour.  Vitalility and Performance Herbal Supplement.

The machine's owners, Performance Marketing Ltd (yes, that's really their name) further stated
 "If you need assistance or would like to report a fault with the machine call 0870-8503528" 

My feeling was that if after the three options you still needed assistance it would take more than a phone call to help you.